"Senioritis"

Seniors.

Highschool, college, or the kind with dentures, all have the same look behind their eyes.

Done with trying too hard and kinda bored.

I am in my senior year at college and I feel it, I see it, I could recognize it anywhere.

I look at the freshmen, their bright eyes and anticipation, down my nose but with just a smidge of jealousy.

They are so put together. They plan their outfits, shower in the morning, put on makeup, maybe even do their assigned reading.

How?

I wash my hair twice a week at most. Not to be gross, but dry shampoo is my savior, and baby, I'm a believer.

I used to wing my eyeliner every day my first year in college. Every day. People ask me now how I'm so good at it and I just look back at how many makeup wipes I went through and how early I had to wake up... Think about how many times I could have hit the 'Snooze'... (sigh)

Now, I'm lucky if I put on mascara yesterday cause at least I'll have some leftover for today.

On the scholastic side of things I've declined too. I'm not worse off but I definitely don't try so hard.

I used to do the whole thing: notes, colored highlighters, sticky notes, reading...

Now, "studying" means maybe skimming the chapter, or googling someone else's quizlet to look over on the drive to school the morning of the test.

Outfits have transitioned from blouses or dresses with coordinating jewelry to t-shirts and jeans or leggings. One school day of freshman year past I even wore heels. Woah.

Of course there are other factors that contribute to indifference as we transition out of these phases of our lives.

I have found myself in a serious relationship and already know, or know of, most people at my small, private university. There aren't many people I care to make a certain impression on anymore in my school environment.

I also value sleep a lot more than beauty these days. Although I could say that valuing sleep is, in it's own way, valuing beauty... sorta. (beauty sleep? is that really a thing? I never manage to wake up more beautiful than how I went to sleep)

So maybe seniors are too complacent about how much we don't care anymore. Maybe freshmen try too hard. Maybe it's not a problem just a phase of life. Whatever it is, I'm not gonna worry too much.

Senior year is usually only that. Just a year. Then on to our next adventure.